It's What She Said

Archives for July 2019

Living your best life doesn’t mean it has to be perfect!

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Living your best life is a wonderful goal to shoot for, but many of us confuse that with living the perfect life. We get hung up on all the details, trying to make sure everything is just right. We tell ourselves it has to be the right time or the best circumstances before we’re ready to try something new or make a change. We let perfectionism hold us back. If you feel you fall into this trap, keep reading and learn how you can live your best life without waiting for it to be perfect.

Consider What’s at Stake

First, when you get caught up in feeling like things have to be just right, take a minute to consider the stakes. What will you miss out on if you wait until things are perfect? What opportunity are you giving up? Often, this simple reflection will be enough to push you toward going after your goal, rather than waiting for a better time.

Know It’s Not All or Nothing

The all or nothing trap is one that is common. This is the belief that you have to have all the resources in place or know everything there is to know before taking on a task. This line of thinking is false. It’s simply a way of getting caught up in the cycle of perfectionism and remaining in place. Take baby steps and give it a try even if you don’t have everything in place. Sometimes things come together on their own.

Change Your Self-Talk

If perfectionism is holding you back from living your best life, chances are good that you’re probably sending yourself some negative messages. Listen to what your inner critic is saying to you the next time you decide that you shouldn’t do something and then see if you can’t turn that message around. If you hear yourself saying that you’ll never get the job promotion because you’re not qualified, try giving yourself some realistic reasons why you might just have what it takes and what you have to offer. Refuting negative self-talk can go a long way to stopping perfectionism in its tracks.

Learn to Accept Good Enough

Finally, try just accepting good enough and see what happens. The next time you want to do something different or step out of your comfort zone, but you don’t think you’re ready, just go for it. Pay attention to how you feel and what it’s like to push past those feelings. Note the end result. Maybe things won’t turn out perfectly, but you may discover they end up being worthwhile anyway.

Keep these steps in mind the next time your inner perfectionist tries to sabotage you and keep you from living your best life. You may be surprised at the results.

Are you putting your life on hold?

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Do you ever just feel like you’re putting your life on hold? Maybe you’re waiting for the perfect time to do what it is you’ve always wanted to do. You might think you need to get yourself to a better career position before you can have fun. Perhaps you don’t think you deserve to take time for yourself when there are so many things that your family needs. Regardless of your reasons, putting your life on hold and waiting for someday to do the things you aspire to is rarely a good idea.

The fact is, we’re never guaranteed a tomorrow. Holding out for the “right time” usually just ends up costing happiness and fulfillment. Instead, decide what it is you want out of your life and take action steps to get it right now. Not tomorrow. Not someday. Take a look at the following suggestions to get started living your best life now:

Take Time to Dream

Many of us say we’ll wait until a better time to go after what we want, but we may not even know what it is that we’d like to see in our lives. Therefore, your first step is to take some time to dream. Think about the things you desire. Make lists. Let yourself dream big. Jot down short-term and long-term goals.

Clarify Your Vision

Once you have some ideas, start to narrow things down. Clarify the goals you most want to meet and that seem within reach to at least begin working on now. Write them down and commit to working toward them.

Create a Timeline

Now you’re ready to create a framework or draw a map for how you’ll reach your destination. Decide how you’re going to obtain the things you want. Write down the steps you plan to take. Try to come up with a reasonable timeframe in which to arrive at each step. Decide on milestones to mark your progress. Doing so will help keep you on track.

Take Action

It’s time to start bringing your plan to life. Decide on which actions you need to take right now to begin making progress toward the goals you’ve set. Grab your calendar and write down guideposts for these steps so that you know what you should be working on at each stage of the journey.

Have Fun

Finally, be sure you’re striving to enjoy these steps along the way. This isn’t another to-do list that has to be a chore. This is your life plan, and it’s meant to be a joy. Doublecheck your action plan to make sure there are fun activities included, and always take time to celebrate those milestones.

Keeping these steps in mind as a model for moving forward will help to ensure you’re no longer putting your life on hold. You now have a plan. As you start to work it, you’ll notice your outlook improving and your satisfaction levels rising.

Why you have to be intentional with what you want in life

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As part of my Living Your Best Life Now series, thank you so much for joining me. We have a lot of material to cover in this series, and it’s going to be an exciting time. Living your best life involves a great number of aspects. The goals you set will be very personal and unique to you. However, there are some common goals and strategies that can help anyone achieve what they want in life.

That’s what I’ll share with you during our time together. You’ll learn actions you can take to put your goals at the forefront and create actionable guidelines for reaching them. I’ll show you how to knock out obstacles like fear and uncertainty, so you can forge ahead and become the best version of yourself.

I’ll help you to dream big and take risks. Too often in life, we remain in our comfort zone in an attempt to stay safe or to avoid discomfort. When you do that, you destroy any chance you have of accomplishing new heights. You hold yourself back. You might even allow others to keep you in place due to their own projections and will.

Overcoming these obstacles can seem challenging, and it will take time. You can do it and live a life beyond what you’re currently experiencing. The key, however, is to know what you want. Many of us only know we want to be happier, live bigger, or shine brighter. We don’t know exactly what it is that will help us reach those milestones.

That’s where being intentional comes into play. Intentional living requires having a clear picture of what you want. It’s a process of creating goals and then setting achievable objectives and milestones for attaining them. To be intentional is to live each aspect of your life with your goal in mind.

You must understand the why, or the reason, your overall goals and smaller objectives are important to you. Otherwise, you’ll lack the motivation to reach them. You also need to create an action plan of substance and clarity in order to get from point A to point B.

While this may seem intimidating right now, let me assure you that I will give you the tools you need to feel empowered and ready to begin preparing to live your best life.

I hope you’re ready to get started!

How Personal Development Leads to Success

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The thing that is most exciting about the possibilities with crafting a personal development plan for yourself is the role that personal development plays in the level of success you can achieve in all areas of your life, physical, cognitive, and social-emotional. 

The fact is, anyone who can observe without passion where they are compared to where they want to be while identifying steps and assembling a plan that is truly doable to reach (and even exceed) the goals you’ve set for life literally cannot lose. Even if you slightly miss the mark or change your mind as you go – you still succeeded. 

You’ll Become More Self Aware

Being self-aware allows you to look to yourself, the only person you have any control over, for the change that is needed to reach the success you desire. For example, if you realize that you are prickly around criticism during your self-study do you just say, “Don’t critique me because I cannot handle it!” No, instead you teach yourself with the help of books, courses, classes, counselors or coaches (or all the above) to learn to handle criticism better. 

You’ll Develop a Better Sense of Direction 

When you really know who you are, who you want to be, and you know how to get it you’re going to have a much better idea of where you’re going from here than the average person. Knowing what you want to get out of life is an important aspect of what helps you set your own course. You also learn not to overwhelm yourself trying to do too much at once because you know that when you set your goals right you will achieve them.

You’ll Become More Focused & Effective 

One of the things that you want most from personal development is clarity. Developing SMART goals for your life in all areas of your life is one way to develop that clarity. Once you have it you can become more and more focused on doing the right steps to get there that you will also become more effective at realizing each success. You’ll be able to toss away roadblocks, obstacles, and threats because you’re doing it with a plan.

You’ll be Much More Motivated

Motivation can be hard to come by for some people. However, with experience and success, comes motivation. Think about how motivated you feel if you earn a few bucks from an affiliate offer you posted about six months ago. Think about how motivated you feel any time you get good news about an action you took that turned out positive. That’s why you will become more motivated. You’ll have more experience with success due to following your personal development plan.

You’ll Become More Resilient 

When you are sure of yourself and where you’re going, something happens along the way. You’ll feel good about the things you’re doing, too. You become a much stronger person. One of the first things you may notice is that you can bounce back faster from issues and roadblocks.

When you know how to plan using actionable steps, to get to where you want to go, there seems to be fewer problems, issues, and roadblocks, simply because you know you’re capable and know what to do. You will have tools, crafted from the development of your personal plan, to help you overcome issues that would ordinarily delayed your progress. There is no way to control the negativity around you; however, you will have more control your actions and reactions.

You’ll Be a Better Friend, Spouse, Parent, Etc.

One of the things you will learn very well as you work on your personal development plan is that you have full control over your own actions. It’s true that you cannot control sometimes how you feel but you can control how you react. It can be hard to realize it but once you fully accept it your relationships will improve dramatically. 

The role personal develop plays in your level of success in all areas of your life is clear. People who spend time developing themselves tend to experience life more fully, make more money, have better and more fulfilling relationships, and are more satisfied with their place in the world. The reason is that you cannot get to where you want to go without taking small daily actions to get there. Your personal development plan will be the map that guides you to where you want to go.